lulz-time:

gendercake:

my dad went to the hospital to get his gallbladder checked out and this is the shit he pulls

#can i keep him

jimpovolo:

kenway:

during spanish class today we were writing sentences and stuff and this guy tried to write “i have eaten the grass” but he mixed up the word for grass (césped) with another word (huésped)

he ended up writing “i have eaten the guests”

sassy-spoon:

nerdbird:

Google is definitely a woman, it starts suggesting things before you can even finish your sentence.

That must mean Bing is a man, tries to convince people it’s superior and does a horrible job with pleasing its user.

placentaandllamas:

fuck-me-phil-lester:

mic-ro-wave:

piggywidgeon:

Reading gay fanfiction by the pool side

IM LAUGHING REALLY HARD BC IT LOOKS LIKE A REALLY HIPSTER PICTURE AND THEN YOU SEE THE IPAD AND ITS JUST GAY PHANFIC OMG

IT MAKES IT EVEN BETTER THAT ITS PHAN OMF

hahaha omg I….

wait…is that…is that my URL? Is that…my fic…?

thefandommenace:

I just want a fruit salad that isn’t 98% of these fucking things 

foodtrucker:

i don;t even know why i stay up late all i do is find new ways to hate myself

zackisontumblr:

who got to decide what words are swear words